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Julia
29 June 2009 @ 10:31 pm
I'm here now: http://smooshybread.tumblr.com/
Either in addition to, or instead of.
Not sure yet...
 
 
Julia
27 June 2009 @ 10:57 am
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Julia
26 June 2009 @ 07:19 pm
Frodo = Ted

Sam = Mo

Merry = Emily (L.)

Pippin = Julia (me)

Gandalf = Todd

Aragorn = Brian W.

Legolas = Doug

Boromir = Craig

Gimli = Nick

Tom Bombadil = Tom

Farmer Maggot = Bill Schirmer

Gollum = Karl

Smeagol = Frederic

Bilbo = Rachel

Rosey Cotton = Lily

Proudfoot hobbit (w/jowls) = Ayako

Inkeeper of the Prancing Pony = Tony

Bill the Pony = Steve

Elrond = Martha G.

Arwen = Evelina

Galadriel = Anne

Celeborn = Gary

Eowyn = Martha F.

Eomer =

King Theoden = Bibbetson

Lord Denethor = Rachel

Faramir =

Treebeard = Jane M.

WITCH KING OF ANGMAR = totes Liz

Breadface Orc Leader = Will (m sry)

Hungry Freak Scary Orc = Scary Switchboard Man

Random Orc = Mario

Wormtongue = Jon Ball

Saruman = 

Sauron =

The Balrog = Karen 

Shelob = Jane B.

Radagast the Brown = Mark

Sting (Frodo’s sword, v. phallic, “gets excited” when orcs are near) =

 

 
 
Current Mood: amused
 
 
Julia
22 June 2009 @ 08:08 pm
This is one of those things that looks really interesting conceptually and really delicious visually and really exciting cast-wise, BUT, I should probably never ever ever ever see this movie, because it would scare the living daylights out of me, and leave a death-scar in my brain for the rest of my life. I really wish I could enjoy this type of thing because the weird part is, I sort of love looking at these pictures; it's satisfying and addictive in a weird way. But that weird way is part genuine appreciation and part "ooh this looks like something that would terrify me-- it looks kind of nightmare-ish! It's my brain turned upside-down! It's my most unpleasant thoughts put together visually! Just looking at these pictures makes me feel like I'm living in them, living in a dream...well, nightmare, actually. But oooh this is fascinatingly masochistic of my mind!" It's like some part of me actually really enjoys a small dose of the intense creepiness. However, "small dose" is the key here. Even if I watched it while surrounded by my closest friends, I would still probably shake and cry for fear by the end, and start seeing scary things around corners.

I'll stop blabbering on now and show you what I'm talking about: http://www.slashfilm.com/2009/06/21/first-photos-tim-burtons-alice-in-wonderland-what-do-you-think/
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Current Mood: good
 
 
Julia
22 June 2009 @ 07:49 pm
My room is possibly messier than its ever been before (especially for the amount of time that it's been in this state)...
And I'm fine with it!

Is this some sort of breakthrough or something?! What does it mean?!
 
 
Current Mood: hot
 
 
Julia
21 June 2009 @ 10:44 pm
Schedule for the Summer:

1. Showtunes
2. Clay (with Tom!)
3. Mini Showtunes (youngins!)
4. Festival Period (as always)
5. Animation
5. Animation

WOO! I hope it stays this way. All schedules may be subject to change.



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Current Mood: tired
 
 
Julia
CIT Meeting today CIT Meeting today CIT Meeting today CIT Meeting today CIT Meeting today CIT Meeting today CIT Meeting today CIT Meeting today CIT Meeting today CIT Meeting today CIT Meeting today CIT Meeting today CIT Meeting today CIT Meeting today CIT Meeting today CIT Meeting today CIT Meeting today CIT Meeting today CIT Meeting today CIT Meeting today CIT Meeting today CIT Meeting today OHMA GAAAAAAHD!
 
 
Current Mood: hungry
 
 
Julia
20 June 2009 @ 12:21 pm
 Social hurdles, self, social hurdles. Keeping in touch, self, keeping in touch. 

That's what I tell myself as I mentally trudge through the awkwardness.

Seeing a movie with Ted was wonderful, but calling him on the phone and arranging to pick him up at his home DID freak me out. I feel uncomfortable with most phone conversations, because I'm like that, but it being my teacher adds a whole new layer. Or five. But it was lovely in the end; we didn't go inside his place, cuz he waited outside so that we could find him and be sure we were at the right house. And it was a little weird for a while, at least for me and Em. We were clearly a little nervous. Ted was as relaxed as ever. Social experiencessss, woo! Totally going to do it again. Molly movie night! Yessss

Then I got this email from Craig about some project that's not a Molly project that he wants my help with. It's still completely mysterious. All I know is that before, we were going to chat about it on Sunday after Katherine and I would have slept over his house Saturday night, dog-sitting his dog. But alas, the event was called off, so now we have to arrange for an awkward lunch. Well, a lunch, anyway. I mean, it sounds kind of crazy that I would prefer to have a sleepover with my friend at Craig's empty house for a night and then talk to him in his hooome, but I feel like the convenience of it and already being there would make it less awkward. It's gonna feel more awkward to chat with him outside of the school-context in my own town than seeing a movie with Teddles, I can assure you that.

THEN, there's this OTHER project with Doug, which involves us playing music together and recording his songs somehow somewhere. But it's early days, cuz I'm just waiting for him to send me some of his stuff so that I can noodle around with piano parts. He asked me if I played the accordion. Oh how I wish....!
 
 
Current Mood: blah
 
 
Julia
19 June 2009 @ 10:42 pm
 It occurs to me now that in college I will need some new mind-clearing activity besides tidying my room, because (a) I will probably not be so inclined to tidy it, particularly because I will be sharing the room with someone else and hense the very right mood is inevitably crushed, (b) the room will be very small, (c) it is half-mine, and (d) because it is so small, tidying it will be easy and less frequently necessary or at least less frequently effective. The mental effectiveness is more important than the...functional effectiveness, so of course I will still keep things very tidy (thinking of it as when I lived at sleep-away camp, for example). But I wonder if it will really slake my tidying, mind-clearing thirst. Maybe instead I will ride my soonish-to-be-existant bicycle, or walk in the woodsy areas, or listen to music being antisocial, or be very social, or animate (which is also antisocial), or just find fun random things to do with people. I think it will end up being a combination of those things...mostly music, animation, and very social activities, since that's what happened at camp, when I was living with a lot of people for 6 weeks and had a lot of unscheduled free time. A combination is good, healthy. I will be good and healthy.
 
 
Current Mood: sleepy
 
 
Julia
19 June 2009 @ 03:00 pm
A watched pot never boils...a watched English muffin pizza never gets deliciously crusty. 

My computer gets really scary when it burns a CD, especially when it's on my lap. It starts to hum, and then louder and louder and vibrates really hard. Okay, that sounded creepily sexual. It wasn't supposed to be. Meh.

Another cloudy, on-and-off rainy day. I went to CSW this morning to pick up my work from ceramics class that was glazed after school let out. I didn't like visiting school; it was painful. It looked so beautiful and so the same, but it's not mine anymore. And facing it, walking right into it, was hard. All that I could think about was that no, csw is not really my school anymore, and no, csw is not really my home anymore. This may have been my last visit for many many months. And it was a visit. As in, it's in some way distant. I do not like that at all.

I now have a little set of 6 original ceramic pieces. Every one is a different shape, representing the best of my practices with each form. I feel sort of proud of my little bowls. The glaze did not turn out the way I wanted it to because the coat was too thin, and at first I was kind of upset about that, but when I brought the pieces home, my sister and mother really loved them and managed to convince me that they are still pretty. 

Em and I went shopping a little while ago and had very good luck! Got a good parking spot in front of Macy's (asking the Earth really does work!), I got a cute long-sleeved shirt on sale at one store, and then at Anne Taylor which is usually very expensive and a bit too fancy for me there was a HUGE sale. Their sales are seriously amazing. Em and I each found super cute Italian jackets marked down from $230 to $30!!! Mine's sort of like a womanly pin-striped suit jacket. Wheee! I used my debit card for the first time ever.

I can't believe I have a CIT meeting tomorrow, and then 2 days of staff orientation before first session starts! Going from nothing to everything in a blink. I am excited for it though. It'll nice to see some old CIT friends, make new ones, see Tom, and be back in the camp atmosphere. It's also exciting to be a second-year CIT; I know how things go now. I know the routine, the places, many of the people. I also really want to know what classes I'm helping out in besides Cabaret and Showtunes Plus. Crossing my fingers for something in either film or animation (Tom mentioned putting me into his Cliffhanger class, where you make an episodic film and each episode ends on a cliffhanger...it looks super fun and the kids are crazy and  final product is always AMAZING). 

"What Not To Wear" is on and it makes me a little upset. The hosts of the show are obnoxious, and their joking always comes off as really mean and condescending. I feel bad for some of the people who get chosen to be on it.

Caramelized caramelized caramelized onionsss

I had this dream last night that sort of encompassed everything that was floating around in my mind yesterday. First of all, Doug and Craig were there, both of whom I've been meaning to email. I was at an amusement park, where my school friends were. It was Saturday, and I realized I should call my parents to tell them that I wasn't going to orientation and then Craig's; instead I was chilling at an amusement park. Then I realized that I wasn't sure where my stuff was, and I went to look for it. In the next part of the dream, I was running over to the bumper cars to announce that I'd just had a baby. I wasn't sure where my baby was, but I had it! I walked onto the bumper car floor, and everyone froze. The bumper cars stopped, and people turned their heads towards me, furious that I had interrupted their game. I knew I should get out. So I walked off the floor and leaned on the railing from the outside. Emily (L.) was in a bumper car and she drove over to the edge to say hello. "I HAD A BABY!" I shouted. "Awesome! I just knew you would!" she said. Then I went off to find my baby.
In the next part of the dream, I was over my family friends' house for a little party, and my dad was showing me how to make the perfect chocolate milkshake. The one I made was too watery. 

Finished thank-you cards. Yessssss.

Dinnertime!

 
 
Current Mood: content
 
 
Julia
16 June 2009 @ 03:03 pm
 SHITT THERE'S A KICK-ASS ACCORDION FOR SALE ON EBAY FOR JUST 200 SMACKERS WHICH ISN'T A TON FOR AN ACCORDION IT'S BLACK AND PRETTY IT'S AN ARPEGGIO ACCORDION AND NOBODY'S BID ON IT AND THERE'S JUST 22 MINUTES LEFT AND I WANT TO MAKE A MAJOR ImPULSE BUY HERE BUT GUAHHHHHHHHHHHAKSJDGNALSKDMACVLSKDGALSKDG I WANT ITTTTT PRETTYYyYY ACCORDIONNNSDMSKDMGSLkdg
 
 
Current Mood: crazy
 
 
Julia
11 June 2009 @ 07:24 pm
Most amazing four hours.
Best 40 dollars spent (well, 65 counting t-shirt).
Immeasurable envy-enducing and worship-deserving talent.
Most adorable suspenders and reverse-mullet-esque hairdo.
Mind-blowing energy. 
Super exhillarating lights.
Incredible new music.
Incredible new band/touring members.
Absolutely magical hearing old favorites.
Fuckin' sweet accordian and keys.
Inability to stand still.
Inability to not scream.
Dracula's Daughter and the douchey chord-progression.
The towel dance.
Oh Valencia. Oh Valencia. Oh Valencia. They played and sang Oh Valencia.
Overwhelming rush of excitement, fun, amazement, surprise, envy, admiration, worship, obsession, enlightenment, love, energy, and adoration.
Sons and Daughters was so great that it was almost unreal. 
Colin Meloy Colin Meloy Colin Meloy Colin Meloy Colin Meloy Colin Meloy Colin Meloy Colin Meloy Colin Meloy Colin Meloy Colin Meloy Colin Meloy Colin Meloy Colin Meloy Colin Meloy Mrs. Colin Julia Meloy? Julia Meloy? Colin Meloy Colin Meloy Colin Meloy Colin Meloy Colin Meloy.
Never experienced anything like this before.
Never thought a concert could be this incredible.
It was pure heaven.


 
 
Current Mood: thoughtful
 
 
Julia
11 June 2009 @ 07:15 pm
 Um, so there's this big lock sitting on the kitchen table that I don't know about, and that my dad doesn't know about. Neither of us have ever seen it before. It's sort of like a really big bike lock, with an alphabet roley code used to lock and unlock it. It wasn't there this morning, and I don't remember exactly when I noticed it today but I assumed I had just been a bit oblivious to it before. I was out of the house for part of the day and forgot to lock the house up, so I guess someone waltzed in here and...rested a large lock on our tabletop? Nothing was stolen from our house, we're positive. My laptop was sitting right out in the open, wasn't touched.....nothing was taken! It's a mystery!!! What's with this lock?! Why did someone give it to us?!




Update: 
Turns out that the girl who's dog-sitting for us tomorrow and over the weekend stopped by the house while I was out, took Chloe for a walk, left her bike lock here, and left without another trace! We didn't expect her to come over today; I guess her timetable was mixed up. 
But man, that was WEIRD.
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Current Mood: confused
 
 
Julia
11 June 2009 @ 06:15 pm
Morning:

Originally I was planning on going to Alicia's party this afternoon/evening, so I would need to get a bunch of things done in the morning as soon as possible. Buttt I slept in until 11. So then I thought, maybe if I just rush this can still work. So I go downstairs for a second as Chloe runs upstairs. I assume she's getting a teddybear. I go back upstairs. She leaves, seeming perfectly happy, but with no teddybear. I enter my room. My bed is soaked, and the floor is wet as well. It wasn't water. It was most definitely not water. It was vindictive dog piss.You have to understand, she peed around a bucketload!! And on the FLOOR--ughhhh! It was horrifying. And so smelly. So I had to spend a while transporting smelly bedding down to the basement, and saturating my floor with Simple Green. Next thing I knew, it was midday. And I still hadn't done anything I'd planned to do, so I realized that a party was not feasible for tonight. Between the party and the necessary transportation to get to and from it, I would need way more time than I had for it to be possible. So I ate a bowl of cereal and organized music for a little while, and then went out to do my shopping. OH, but before I did, I got a call that my flight to Chicago for tomorrow had been cancelled. So my dad booked us new flights at 8:00 tomorrow morning. Woo.

Afternoon:

Went shopping, successfully, and even got an unexpected discount. When slowly driving through the completely packed parking lot of the Natick Mall/Collection/Coniption/Shrine 2 Konsumerism, I asked the Earth for a parking space. First I thought I got one, but the lady turned out to just be getting her coat from her car, not leaving. So I said thanks, Earth, but that wasn't exactly what I was going for. Universe, I said aloud, help me out here. Please? And sure enough, right as I finished speaking, a woman in an even better space began to pull out, and I was the first one to get over there and claim her spot. RIGHT in front of Macy's, which is probably the only area I'd be able to find upon my return to the car later on. So asking the Universe really worked! It did! It provided!
After the mall, I had to stop by AAA by request of my dad to pick up some street maps of Chicago. I had his AAA membership card, but apparently that wasn't enough. It had to be mine. So I gave the lady at AAA a sort of sad look and said "Well, I...I guess I could have my dad stop by later...I mean, if it really has to be him and everything...." Hehehe. So she looked around, with a very conflicted expression, and then hunkered down and whispered, "Okay, you know what? Don't tell anyone, but because it's you, here ya go. Don't tell anyone. Have a nice time in Chicago." And I left smiling with my arms full of free maps and travel guides. Hehehe.
When I got home I took the dog out and then went back to sorting through music files (picking what to put onto meh spiffy new iPoddie) while watching "Aladin" (yes, Aladin). I forgot how entertaining that movie is! It's a good'un.

So, alas, no party, lots of dog pee, but a nice quiet night at home, which I actually haven't had for a while now. 

 
 
Current Mood: lazy
 
 
Julia
11 June 2009 @ 06:07 pm
 Two funny little things from talking to my grandmother on the phone just now:

1) "Ooooh and I was so fresh with them! I was really fresh, you know, I called them a bullshit organization!"

2) "Just couldn't pull grandpa away from the O.W....oh you know what the O.W. is, don't you? I call his computer the Other Woman. When he's around the O.W. I don't get the tiniest bit of attention, it's like I don't exist! It's that damn Other Woman..."
 
 
Current Mood: amused
 
 
Julia
11 June 2009 @ 06:01 pm
Dump  
Picking which music will go onto your iPod and which music won't is a long and difficult process. I realized it's just like when you're playing the game "Oregon Trail" and you've already bought all of your supplies, clothes, food, animals, and everything for the journey, but you can't leave the town because your wagon is too heavy. So you have to DUMP stuff from your wagon, and in my case usually I'll spend tons of time dumping everything that ways more than a pound and STILL not be able to leave. The process of narrowing down my travelling music was very similar. And I have now finished, and feel ready to go! (it's a gorgeous little deep purple iPod nano by the way, a graduation gift)
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Current Mood: blank
 
 
Julia
08 June 2009 @ 09:55 pm
So, my brilliant partner-in-crime and I like to play these little role-assigning games about our teachers and co-workers. Here's one we came up with and completed during the past two days. I think it's pretty wonderful. There were only 3 roles we couldn't fill! 
Last names have been abbreviated for courteous descretion. 

Dumbledore = Tom E.
Fawkes = Dharm
Aberforth = Bill S.
Harry Potter = John B. (from the board)
Hedwig = Laura B.
James Potter = Ben I.
Lily Evans = X
Petunia Dursley = Anjali T.
Vernon Dursley = Jeremy G.
Dudley Dursley = Guruatma
Hermione Granger = Shubha S.
Crookshanks = Kahila O.
Ron Weasley = Nick R.
Pigwidgeon = Frederic B.
Errol = Karen B.
Arthur Weasley = Brian H.
Molly Weasley = Terri
Fred and George Weasley = Alison S.
Bill Weasley = Marcy C.
Charlie Weasley = Aaron H.
Percy Weasley = Carl L.
Ginny Weasley = Lily R.
Luna Lovegood = Karl F.
Neville Longbottom = Mark S.
Angelina Johnson = Anne R.
Cho Chang = Jane B.
Lee Jordan = Gustavo B.
Padma and Parvati Patil = Kathy B.
Seamus Diggery = Michael W.
Suzan Bones = Jane M.
Lavender Brown = Jen Q.
Fleur Delacour = Evelina G.
Victor Krum = Rob D.
Cedric Diggory = Tony L.
Nearly-Headless Nick = Mario S.
Peeves the Poltergeist = Karl F.
Argus Filch = Vince (maintenance)
Mrs. Norris = Sara H.
Professor McGonagall = Marilyn D.
Cornelius Fudge = J. Michael
Barty Crouch = Tad L.
Bagman = David M.
Rubeus Hagrid = Moises N.
Madam Maxime = Joanie R.
Severus Snape = X
Peter Petigrew = Ron G.
Sirius Black = Ted M.
Remus Lupin = Doug H.
Tonks = Sherrill B.
Alastar Moody = Todd B.
Professor Slughorn = Will W.
Gilderoy Lockhart = Craig D.
Professor Trelawney = Liz N.
Professor Sprout = Eileen
Professor Flitwick = Frederic B.
Professor Binns = Rhona C.
Madam Pomphrey = Lisa H.
Madam Hooch = Martha G.
Firenze = Sun Ho K.
Moaning Myrtle = Gail
Professor Quirrell = Jon B.
Fake Mad-Eye Moody / Barty Crouch Jr. = Steve S.
Dolores Umbridge = X
Rita Skeeter = Joyce K.
Bellatrix Lestrange = Rachel H.
Olivander = Gary
Madam Rosmerta = Naomi
Arabella Figg = Denise C.
Kreacher = Jack C. (creepy switchboard man) 
Dobby = Matthew G.
Winky = Trish S.
Nagini = Gayle and Eileen TOGETHER
Reg Cattermole = Ayako
 
 
 
Current Mood: calm
 
 
Julia
06 June 2009 @ 02:14 pm
 

"Up" - 2D vs 3D

Posted by Leo Holzer

Friday, June 05, 09

By Leo N. Holzer

OK, “Up” just wrapped its opening weekend and the real debate isn’t whether the film is worth seeing — it’s whether it’s worth the additional charge ($2 to $5, depending on the theater and city) to see the it in Disney Digital 3-D.

I’ve seen both the 2-D and 3-D versions and now I’m here with my thoughts, likely to muddle the debate even more.

First, there’s a difference in the lead-in promotions. “Up” in Disney Digital 3-D offers audiences a teaser trailer for “Toy Story 3” in 3-D. By now, you’ve likely seen a 2-D version of it from the various links posted on the Internet, including here.

While it’s great to see the Toy Story gang all back together (and I loved Hamm rolling through the scene), it does little other than to remind us of those beloved characters and let us know about the film’s June 2010 release date. There’s also a new 3-D logo for Pixar, with P-I-X-A-R at an angle vs. straight on facing the audience.

“Up” as it is shown in traditional 2-D film format includes a wonderful trailer for “The Princess and the Frog,” reminding the audience of all those great hand-drawn films from Walt’s days to the resurgence of great Disney animation some 20-plus years ago in “The Little Mermaid,” “Beauty and the Beast,” etc.

In addition, we get a few scenes from “The Princess and the Frog,” a glimpse of the voodoo villain, its New Orleans’ setting, the prince and Disney’s first black princess, who becomes a frog herself after planting a kiss on the toady prince. Talk about a fractured fairy tale. This holiday 2009 offering looks promising and we get a few laughs and more entertainment value than we do the 3-D “Toy Story 3” trailer.

Actually, I think it may have been a mistake not to prime audiences for the 3-D double-bill theatrical release of “Toy Story” and “Toy Story 2.” Think about all those children who’ve yet to see Pixar’s first feature and its “more-than-equal sequel” on the big screen. Once they see some advertising or know about the special limited engagement, they’ll be a lot of them hounding their parents for the chance to see these two great films in Disney Digital 3-D.

Still, it’ll be interesting to see how well “Toy Story” and “Toy Story 2” in 3-D do at the box office given the millions of VHS home video and DVD copies out there. In this economy, how many people want to shell out $40 or more to take their family to see something they already have in their home video library or can rent for a few dollars?

Now, as to the feature presentation of “Up,” there really are things I liked about both.

As “Up” director Pete Docter and producer Jonas Rivera told me, the 3-D is used to help support “feelings” and “moods” in certain scenes, much in the same way that Pixar uses colors, lighting, scene composition and the interplay of various shapes: angularity and squares vs. circles.

But, should you decide to pay the additional charge to view “Up” in 3-D, take a look at each lens in those special glasses. Hold them up to a wall or ceiling light source and see just how much of that projected image will be blocked from your eyes. It’s like watching a film wearing sunglasses, something that reduces the light by 20 percent or more and slightly changes the colors received by your eyes.

The scene with the reflected lighting off the balloons holding the house aloft is glorious in 2-D; a bit less so in 3-D. But then, the scene of the house flying above the city and rural landscapes seems a bit more special in 3-D.

While there are no “hugga bugga” moments to “sell” 3-D, its use by Pixar in “Up” seems appropriate and adds a bit to the overall emotional experience. Still it’s like adding 10 more pounds of muscle to a 300-pound gorilla which already has a knockout emotional punch.

If you can afford the “Up” charge, see the film in Disney Digital 3-D — it’s something that may be difficult, if not impossible, to replicate at home. (Can a Blu-ray set up be used to show 3-D films on your home theater system? I don’t know.) But if the additional $$ for everyone in your household to see “Up” in 3-D is money you’d rather spend on something else … that’s understandable.

We’ve been conditioned to watching the vast majority of Hollywood’s films in 2-D, so it’s not something like an air-conditioned theater and Dolby Surround Sound that we’ve come to expect just yet. Some cynics even think the studios are using 3-D as a carrot to get more theater screens to switch to digital projection, a “greener” and more economical way to deliver films to your neighborhood multiplex than big, bulky film cans.

Here’s something you might also want to consider: Check your area’s bargain matinee policies, which vary greatly from chain-to-chain and city-to-city. “Up” is being shown on more than 20 screens at least eight megaplexes within 30 miles of my home, including at least six 3-D screens.

Some chains have a special early bird matinee and then a couple of cheaper matinee screenings. Some chains also offer a special full-day midweek with reduced ticket prices. Some offer only one or two matinee-priced screenings per day, all showtimes before 2 or 3 p.m. — some are more consumer friendly. One chain, a favorite about 25 miles from my home, offers bargain matinees daily until 6 p.m. and then also offers a bargain price for Sunday night’s last show time, usually starting between 9:20 and 10:30 p.m. The bargain ticket price with the additional $3 3-D charge at my favorite multiplex was $10 per ticket total vs. $10.50 for a regular evening showtime ($13.50 for “Up” in 3-D).

Irreguardless of whether you see “Up” in 2-D or 3-D, count on a great time at the movies. Pixar delivers yet another wonderful film.

Maybe, after Pixar extends its string of commercial and critical hits to 15 or 20 films, the naysayers at the Wall Street Journal and elsewhere — expecting a flop with every new film — will be silenced. Maybe, a few rivals will take a good hard look at just what makes Pixar’s films so great — the emphasis onSTORY, Story, story — and try to replicate that in a way that will benefit all filmgoers.

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Julia
Last day of school sucked. I wandered around feeling lost, confused, and unhappy. It was gorgeous outside, and people were all together in clumps being obsessed with yearbooks, and I really don't care about the yearbook thing and it made me unhappy because it didn't feel like the right ending or particularly meaningful, being chased around by people demanding a blurb in their book so that they can feel more loved. That's not how I really translate my love. I dunno, it was frustrating.
I sat in Ted's dark office with him, sitting sadly and quietly for a while, letting our hearts feel empty. It was hard to find the right words, but one of the beautiful things about him is that he knows and I know that we don't need to struggle to spew it all out in words. We could just sit there quietly, speaking if we felt like it, and that was just okay. And I could just sit there even while he was on the phone with the Taiwanese frisbee coach, and that was totally okay. And we both felt very empty. And I wanted to cuddle up to him or hug him or curl up in his arms but I didn't, because it was a time for sitting and it was still comforting. And sometimes I need to remind myself that he isn't my other father, as much as I wish that was true and as much as it can feel true. But just being in that space was hugely comforting, and sad. His office is like the school version of a living room for me. I am going to miss that room so much. Ted said some things that were so deeply saddening and hard to hear. But it's all okay. It was okay. It will be okay.
Mo was also having a really hard day, but I didn't see him much. Just when he was sitting at his desk typing a letter and not speaking much. I could just sense the sort of off-ness of his normally jovial mood. Definitely a tough day. I wish I'd hugged him right then, although I'd probably have cried.
I thought I would spend the day weeping, but it was almost worse without the tears because my emptiness felt less validated that way. I felt like this hollow shell and all social interactions felt so off. I didn't like it. Ted's office was such a relief, such an escape, and yet at the same time like immersing myself in the emptiness.
At lunch I kept wanting to talk to Tom, really to cry to Tom because he is so safe and I had still bottled up a lot of tears that I couldn't put off forever. But he was so busy, constantly talking to different people who also needed some Tom. Which is how it usually is. But finally at the end of lunch he came over to squeeze my shoulders, grab my elbows, and squeeze my hair. And, as predicted, the tears then started to come. He was standing there telling me that I should go to class, and I sort of hugged him and clutched him at the same time and I really didn't want to let go, and he pat my head and told me it was okay to feel sad. But then he started to leave! And I sort of collapsed on the ground and he kept patting my head and I looked up to him with this tear-covered puppy-dog look, and he laughed, and then he left. Oh, no actually I then grabbed his arm, and I clutched his hand and I begged him to stay because I really really really wanted and needed that. But he left. And I went to my fucking physics class, which sucked, and then went to a really weird and kind of unneccessarily stressful graduation 'rehearsal,' and then I did my last shit in the dungeon bathroom and wrote on the wall a little, and then it was all over.

 
 
Current Mood: exhausted
 
 
 
 
 

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